NEWS Excerpt from the Summer Newsletter.........Nick McNamara\\\'s thoughts on Body, Mind and Soul......Excerpt from the Christmas 2007 Newsletter.... 2008-10-23
Summer Newsletter 2008


Justine Gaunt has sent me these words of Mother Theresa of Calcutta:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred; Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight; Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see in the final analysis, it is all between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

These words feel of especial interest to me at the moment. For several months I have been struggling with the impact of the ‘development’ of the house next door to me. The people who have bought the house have demonstrated a strange lack of respect for their neighbours – especially me! Working on their house has involved coming onto my property, but they never thought to let me know or discuss this advance. Amongst other things, they nicked metered water from my outside tap, scaffolded the back of my house without warning, splashed paint on my car, added various pipes to my side of a shared wall and never cleared up afterwards. For several weeks I kept going round and politely asking them to let me know in advance of work to be done and clear up afterwards. This had no effect.

Eventually being trampled on in this way began to create a response in my body - a visceral one. My guts said to me ‘stand your ground or we will continue to give you grief’. My oesophagus said to me ‘speak out - don’t swallow your words or I will keep on burning you’. So I sought legal advice and sent them a strong letter.

At the moment it looks as though my neighbours and I will be able to reach a compromise. So I’m now looking forward to letting go of grudges regarding the thoughtless behaviour, and hoping for a harmonious relationship in the future.

I felt it was necessary to act on what my guts were telling me, to stand my ground and be true to myself. I don’t think Mother Theresa intends by her words that we should make martyrs of ourselves, allowing our feelings to implode by being a pushover for the bullies of this world. I think her message is that in our essence we can remain unchanged by the slings and arrows - by what life chucks at us - and this is what we must aim for.



Body, Mind and Soul by Nick McNamara

Two of my favourite things are yoga and psychotherapy. Both have a profound effect on me, and give me a strong sense of the incredible connection between body and mind.

As babies we all experienced the whole range of emotions; rage, terror, ecstasy, despair and everything in between. If you watch a baby you can easily see how their feelings are whole-body experiences – they scream, shout or giggle; their arms and legs thrash about in anger or delight; or their body becomes literally rigid with fear. The emotional, psychological and physical act almost as one. I have a sense of a baby being well connected up!

As we grow up things seem to get in the way of this brilliant process. Often our parents will only tolerate certain of our feelings. For example, in our culture a little girl may be encouraged to be a ‘beautiful princess’ – delightful and happy. But what does she do when she feels murderously angry, and knows her parents will not allow her to express it? What happens if we hurt so much because we feel we are not wanted by one or both of our parents, but it seems too dangerous to tell them so?

In cases like these I think we eventually try to deny to ourselves that we even have the feeling at all. We shut the feeling away, and in shutting off our natural emotional process I think we also shut off something physical. We hold the blockage as a fixed experience or memory in our body and also in our subconscious mind – somehow in our very cells. The healthy flow of our system, involving body and mind, is impeded. Perhaps we become stiff and rounded in the shoulders, become prone to sore throats, or stop breathing properly. I strongly believe that these kinds of effects impact our bodily development and health, and ultimately do cause disease.

I see yoga and psychotherapy working to remove the blockages and restore the natural flow necessary for our healthy growth to happen. Because our minds and bodies work as a system I think it is possible to help any one part of that system and to somehow have a positive effect on the rest of it.

When I help a therapy client to feel safe enough to say something about their experience which they have felt too painful to admit to themselves before, they might find that their niggling head ache which they have had all week has suddenly disappeared. They might feel lighter, as though a weight has been lifted. (Notice the physical metaphor). One of the latest developments in psychotherapy is that of body psychotherapy in which the therapist works much more actively with the client’s physical sensations, experiences and presentation.

When I take the time to do my yoga practice, to breathe consciously, to allow my body to do what it wants to do, I experience myself as being patient and kind to myself. In response, I have my feelings more freely. I might realise that I feel very sad about something, or that I need to change something in my life. Afterwards I feel more connected – with myself and my life. My body and mind feel like they belong to me. I am flowing again.

Both yoga and psychotherapy work to improve the health of our body and mind, but just take different routes. I feel very glad that I discovered both.

As for my soul, I have less idea of what that is, but somehow I think I’m closer to finding out whenever I have a good therapy session or yoga class!

What do you think?

If I were to arrange a short talk and discussion to explore these ideas further from a psychotherapy perspective, perhaps before or after a yoga class, would you be interested? Let me know!

Nick McNamara works as an Associate Psychotherapist at The Tuke Centre in York, and has a private counselling and psychotherapy practice in Knaresborough.

He would welcome any thoughts, comments or enquiries, so feel free to contact him on 01423 340 482 or nickmcn@hotmail.com, or visit www.nickmcn.co.uk.

HARROGATE YOGA
CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER


Yesterday is history, tomorrow's a mystery, today is a gift.

These words, all in pink, adorned the dhokla, samosas, pakoras, burfi, jelabee, halva, etc, on sale in Bobby’s Sweet Shop in Leeds. Justine Gaunt, spotted the phrase when she called in to the shop to satisfy her sweet tooth. She says “I wrote it down and put it up on the mantelpiece at home. A few weeks later we had a lovely man staying with us whose wife was in hospital in Leeds having cancerous tumours removed. He was very taken by the words. I saw him again this weekend in London, and he presented me with the original Sanskrit text."

Listen to the exhortation of the dawn!
Look well to this day for it is life.
The very life of life.
In its brief course lie all the verities
And realities of your existence.
The bliss of growth.
The glory of action.
The splendour of beauty.
For yesterday is but a dream.
And tomorrow is only a vision
But today well lived
Makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope
Look well therefore to this day!
Such is the salutation of the dawn.

(From the Sanskrit)

********

Justine, who comes to Level 2 class at the Academy, says “Isn't it beautiful? And such a wonderful reminder to live in the moment!”