‘Your practice is for you alone. It is difficult to hear the soft voice of inner wisdom amidst the cacophony of constant comparisons. It is simply impossible to sense your soul when you are striving to be superior.‘ Aadil Palkhivala. This was the reading in class last week. As many people noted, these words can apply to our daily lives just as much as to personal yoga practice.
In talking of ‘constant comparisons’, I believe Palkhivala was referring to the temptation to look around at other students in class, and measure oneself as ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ regarding physical prowess in asana. However, as our discussions in class unfolded, we realised there are umpteen ways to compare ourselves with others and in the process of making these judgments, diminish ourselves and move away from happiness. Examples: ‘My baby is sleeping through the night sooner than hers (I must be a better mum), ‘My baby is crying all through the night and all my friend’s babies are sleeping through (I must be a hopeless mum) ‘My child is cleverer/prettier than hers (and this a reflection of me), ‘Her figure is better than/not as good as mine.’ ‘His car/job is better/inferior to mine.’ ‘I’m a better daughter than she is’, ‘My outfit is not quite as fashionable as hers’. And so the cacophony of inner voices can go on, propping up an over-inflated sense of self or subtly undermining it. In either scenario we’re moving away from the simplicity of being our authentic selves.
In one class the discussion moved to the pros and cons of wearing make-up, colouring hair, waxing etc. – all the stuff women in our culture do to present themselves to the world. One woman talked about going to a yoga event and deciding to wear no make-up. For her it was a challenge to be out and about with a bare face, but she said it felt good to allow people to see her this way. It was symbolic, in that she felt she presented herself more authentically. Personally I think as women we can be authentic with or without make-up, and wearing it doesn’t mean we’re superior or necessarily aiming to be superior. Nor are we inferior if we choose not to do all that high maintenance stuff. We can be ourselves either way. Throughout history and across cultures, decorating the body with beautiful clothes, painting the face and arranging the hair, are practices that both men and women have enjoyed. The fashion industries exist because there is this need.
Another woman in the class pointed out that these industries make us unhappy because they constantly present us with material things that are a ‘Must Have’. But I think that through dedicated practice of yoga, we do move towards authenticity and then our decision making is refined. We learn what is truly ‘our bag’, we become more discerning, this means we buy the things and decorate ourselves, or our homes, in ways that truly nourish the soul. Or if we’re not interested in those aesthetics, then we don’t.
Back to Palkhivala – he points out that superiority through doing fancy yoga poses, is not what the practice of yoga is about. Asana practice is a kind of paradox because we use the body as a means to attain ‘yoga’. What we do on the mat influences how we lead our lives, it becomes a personal journey of discovery, of gaining awareness and movement towards recognition of our true authentic self…….with or without make-up!